I understand Sunrise. It's so hard for me to admit any kind of failure. I have always had a tendency to put on a perfect facade for everyone --- and that included my therapist. When I first started seeing him, he would ask how I was and I would be pleasant and polite and tell him I was fine -- even though I wasn't. I just didn't want to look like a failure or a complainer or a whiner. It took me a long time to open up to him... and there were days when I just couldn't open up. I would put on that "everything's okay" smile. He got used to me being that way. He could see through it too. It ended up being a good thing because he recognized the way I was and gave me ways to work on being more honest with myself and others about the way I feel. I'm still working on it, but I have gotten better at admitting when I'm fed up or overwhelmed or not living up to my own expectations.

So, try not to put a whole lot of pressure and expectations on yourself when you go see your therapist tomorrow. Just be yourself -- however you happen to be feeling. If you shut down and act like everything's fine, I'm sure your therapist will see through it... and that might start you on a path of learning how to accept that you're not perfect and maybe you expect to much of yourself and maybe you need to cut yourself a little slack and admit to others when you're feeling down. This could be a positive step in your therapy.

Good luck!!! (((Hugs)))