You were diagnosed NPD on sight like that? That's wrong.

I was diagnosed BPD only after it became very apparent. I was reffered to the DBT program by my old Pdoc. When I had the PTSD breakdown my BPD symptoms all came to the forefront, too. Now that I know what BPD is, I can see why the diagnosis was made and I believe it to be completely true.

I think back to all the stuff I was saying and doing back then and it screams BPD. In the hospital program I attended I was always talking about my damaged, fractured sense of self. I was absolutely paranoid that everyone was going to give up on me because I fell apart. There is more, but it's not worth getting into here.

At the same time, I was clearly suffering a PTSD response. I was hypervigilant ,touch sensitive, agoraphobic, dissociated and having flashbacks.

My startle response was bad, too. I practically collapsed in my Pdocs waiting room because there was a strange woman talking too loudly. At one point my boyfriend slapped the table while telling me a story and I screamed and fell into a heap.

I should have been in the hospital, but because my Pdoc saw the BPD she discouraged it. My T at the time was all for me going inpatient because of an episode that led to taking a bunch of ativan and cutting. It was really confusing.

Still, I wasn't officially diagnosed BPD until I met my current T, who is a specialist. And it wasn't until taking a complete history, reviewing all my treatment notes, a self test ( I had no idea what I was being tested for at the time), and 5 sessions of evaluation.

The bipolar dx is something I had to push for, my old Pdoc had been treating me for mood disorder NOS and it wasn't working. I knew I had it, I have a family history of it (mom, two uncles, two cousins) , still she resisted diagnosing me and gave me the wrong dosages of my meds. Nothing got better for me at all until my AD was switched to a SNRI, the dosage of Lamictal was doubled and an AP was added.

So that is my experience, sorry for writing a book!