Was going through a lot of emotions this morning. Felt really emotional then had cig and felt better. I know it's a lie that cig makes you feel calm, but it does makes me calm. Was I going through withdrawal when I had cig few minutes ago? And then had extreme depressive moment? I hate this! I didn't smoke when my siblings kicked me out of the house. I didn't smoke when they were mistreating me! I did stop smoking before. Why was it easier then? And so hard now?