That sounds like hope.

My friend and I were talking about anxiety and when you're anxiety rolls along at a 7 for months on end, a 10 doesn't feel that "out of the ordinary".

It's only when you start to take it down to 5s and 3s that those spikes to 10 get so hard to deal with. It's what the fluctuation does to you more than the intensity.

It sounds like maybe you're fluctuating and that is so hard to take.