justbyou, yeah, for me that fist year was a real killer! My life was turned upside down, inside out and pretty much any other way imaginable. My partner got sober about 9 months after I did (now ex partner.) After we were both sober over a year, we agreed that we would never, ever want to do that again. I am not tempted to drink anymore but in the begining I was sorta encouraged to stay sober just because I did not want to go through that first year again. I'm not implying that I would lose any of my sobriety time if I drank again. And, maybe I'd never have such a tough time getting sober but I don't want to find out. Now that I've been sober for awhile, I believe that living sober is so much better than drinking. I don't even want to social drink--it's just not what I want out of life. I no longer stay sober because being a drunk hurts or out of fear or dread--I'm sober simply because I prefer it. There was a point in my life when I never could have imagined that I'd actually "want" to be sober...I thought I "had" to be sober because it was killing me. Now, I want it.......D.