Hi MB1977......Firstly, never ever leave a marriage because your mother told you to. Or your father. Unless there is severe emotional and/or physical abuse. This does not seem to be the case with you, so do yourself a huge favor and just accept your mothers advice for what it is: well meaning claptrap.

You do need to speak to your wife...the heart-to-heart conversation, because obviously things are going to have to change. Although you've already done it, I HIGHLY recommend NEVER relaying negative talk received from your mother about your wife to your wife. That is always going to put her on the defensive and if you just want to watch her blow-up all the time, rather than fixing the issue, then repeating claptrap from your mom is the surest way I know.

If you love your wife (and I think you do) and you believe in your marriage (which I think you do) you NEED to have that non-confrontational conversation so you are both on the same page regarding both the marriage, your finances and also the children....the worse thing for any relationship is lack of communication. Almost anything can be worked out if the couple TALK about it, set some goals and then work together to make them happen.

Btw....father-in-law living with you? Very kind. Probably not a good idea in light of you and your wife's lack of communication (difficult to talk about things with Dad always around) not to mention the lack of time spent together on your own in the marriage. I suggest looking into relocating Dad, asap...if it is feasible. Also, while I hear you don't feel appreciated for the things you do (besides being the only working partner--coffee in bed etc) please remember, that although it might have started off as a courtesy and something done out of love, if your wife doesn't feel an equal in your marriage, especially if she KNOWS her mother-in-law is being disrespectful about her to you, and generally trying to cause trouble..all the things she may have enjoyed she may very well feel guilty about now...which breeds resentment...which breeds trouble, which is why she may shout at you, when before...she didn't.

Take care