But this is along the lines of knowing our parents / ts can survive our being angry at them. It is a scary lesson for us to learn, esp when they ie parents do try to control us by scaring the shyte out of us. I mean, i was so scared, i couldnt ask for an appointment time change for 3 years. That is baaaaaad. I couldnt impose. Now i impose on t all the freakin time, sometimes just for the fun of it. Okay not really, but it is more that attitude than my previous not even being able to ask for a glass of water. But neither is it controlling or demanding - it is just figuring out / negotiating what another person who WANTS to give something to me, HAS available to give me. Neither of us should be making sacrifices to be together?