Thank you Waiting 4. I have been really torn up with this. I hear you and like what you are saying. But to communicate is so difficult when I am not such a person to do this verbally. I thought about writing down all the stuff that bothers me but are so afraid of the fall out that I never get to it. I really and mean really do not like confrontation and my wife revels in it. Let me give you a bit of Back ground for you to maybe form your advice along more information. My wife is an only child and has always gotten her way with her parents. She does not compromise at all and I always end up compromising to prevent the inevitable silent treatment and pouting and resentment when she does not get her way. She will get up in the morning and have the day planned in her head and Automatically assumes that its what I want to do to. More often then not it will involve an activity where money would have to be spent or such. Given the financial situation we are currently in I tell her that I don't think we can go because we can not really afford to go. This will normally end with her throwing a tantrum and we all spend the day miserable and avoiding each others company. Now this also happens if there might be enough money and she has set her mind to do something and I do not agree. Instead of compromising like I do she has these meltdowns. I then feel guilty and to avoid any more outbursts give in to her. Thing is I never get to do things I enjoy since we got married. She has estranged me from my friends. If I do mention that I want to do something on my own or with my friends (when I still had any) she makes me feel guilty and says I should be spending time at home with my family rather than going off on my own or with friends. Its as if she has this obsession where she cant stand to be with out me. And its fine but its been smothering me bit by bit. This is also why my mother might feel resentful because of the situation between the two of them we rarely visited with my Mother. My wife being who she is felt that my mother should be visiting us more. In the end its been months since I have seen my mother. Thing is there are more issues underlying and I am to blame for a lot of things because I let it slide and did not stand up to her but its easier to give in than experience the outburst. Her own mother when she was still alive and her Father today will then later come to me and say they think she has been unreasonable. They only did it behind her back because the few times that they said it to her she accused them of taking my side and would fly out of the room in a rage to spend the next few hours giving everybody the silent treatment and we move around the house and staying out of her way. So given this new Information is the advise still the same? Tough it out try to communicate? Because she is intelligent and has a Law degree and can obviously know what she is doing is not right. I have heard her confess it to some of her friends. Can a Leopard change its spots?