I don't know about being punished but being an adult survivor of abuse I can tell you it was something horrible that happened to them or that was in them that made them do this.

I can relate to the overwhelming part as I am finally trying to face this stuff myself after burying it and keeping silent for far too long...for first of all give yourself a pat on the back for being strong enough to face it and to seek advice and help.

Are you getting professional help for this? I know at times it can be hard money wise and sometimes seems like a bunch of hoohey to some but honestly I have been since August of last year and it has helped a lot, although I am far from 'healed' and probably some part of this abuse will always be with me.

When my mom got sick around ten or so I got about the same amount of clothes each year, so I deffo hear you there...please seek help and try and find the solution.

I got over a major addiction in a forum like this so I would also suggest you stick around and see what happens...