It is sexual abuse because you didn’t consent to him doing that. Relationships are about setting boundaries and communication. You need to set boundaries with him: no sex or touching me while I’m asleep. Communicate with him: use ‘I’ statements – I felt hurt when you had sex with me without asking me first. I feel angry.... I feel frustrated that you don’t listen to me, etc.

Maybe consider marital counselling as it seems he is dismissing how you feel and he thinks it is no big deal. Relationships are about respecting each other. In this case, he did not respect you and since it happened a long time ago, you are still hurt.

I’m a man but doesn’t give me a right to just have sex if my partner does not want it at the time. If he is not listening to you or respecting you, you may have to leave him. But try to get marital counselling first!! That’s my thoughts.