Quote:
Originally Posted by CountingSheep
I've been thinking (despite trying to get this off my mind), my prior actions aren't stalker behavior are they? Its not like I've been following him around to different websites or anything and trying to talk to him. I haven't sent him endless messages every single day asking for a response. I don't believe I have been displaying stalker tendencies. Maybe trying to get him to talk to me a few times when he didnt want to talk might have been too much but it wasnt anything extreme.
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Ok.
STOP.
BREATHE.
You don't sound stalkery, or over the top about how you have been trying to interact with this person, given it seem this all came out of the blue.
Speaking as a person who DOES often need time if she's angry before addressing the situation? I can still say that what is going on here smacks of manipulation of some sort.
I have often felt in the past that it is important to address a situation as quickly as is possible- the caveat being that if one is too upset, worked up, etc to be thoughtful in their words and actions, they take the time needed to get to that place.
If this person isn't there after over a week?
-They don't want to address whatever it is.
-The issue actually doesn't have much to do with you.
-There is not really an issue, they just kind of suck.
-something I'm not accounting for: always a possibility.
None of those are fun choices.
But it is completely unreasonable to hold someone off for that long. My cut off has always been at the most 48 hours, and that is if I am extremely upset, AND have other things that take priority, and am not feeling well, and and and.
The more you make someone wait, the more you put them at a disadvantage and manipulate them into a vulnerable position and that is not a nice, caring, fair thing to do. It creates an imbalance and, in my [obviously not at all humble] opinion, it should only be done if absolutely necessary.
It also seems like you just really have no idea why this person is suddenly upset with you. Which makes it even weirder.
If they are depressed or something, they should say they aren't feeling well- not that they are angry with you. And that's not your responsiblity to suss out someone who isn't being clear about what they are feeling.
Honestly?
I use steam, it's not impossible to refriend someone.
I would take them off my friend list. It is causing you great distress and it is unecessary, in my opinion.
Whether this person is angry at you or experiencing some major crises in their life or depressed or whatever else- regardless they are being extremely careless when even a very very simple explanation might alleviate some of the distress you are feeling.
They are being careless, stop putting yourself through that?
<3