Things that were terrible that happened a couple of years ago, I keep thinking about them all the sudden.

I can't stop thinking about them, and I'm getting suicidal because of that. I don't know what to do because I have no friends (I push friends aside all the time) to sway my mind away from the negatives and my family does their own thing.

I'm so sad about what happened before (I don't want to talk about it as it is very personal), yet I still don't know what to do to alleviate it or stop thinking about it!