i had to post cos i just had the Best session with T! she was so great. listening and talking and reassuring and guiding and explaining and letting me ask her so many questions ive been wondering about. we were talking about connection and i said i have a lot of trouble figuring out when i connect to someone. she said people are drawn to people they can connect with so i dont need to worry about hanging around people who hate me because if they hate me they just wont be there and if theres a connection they will. so i asked how do i know theres a connection. because often i like someone and maybe theres a connection or maybe i just want to be with that person but they dont want to be with me. her answer? with that we ll leave it there and thats something you can think about for the next week. lol. BUT then she let me stay talking for 20 mins over time!!! we just sat and chatted about psychology, freud (whos a big eejit we both agree), sandtray therapy (she says shed love to try it with me because id be a perfect candidate and its a great therapy) and jung (who shes about to do a course on and i said id look into him). we also chatted about her getting her house refurbished (her office is in her house) and she described her whole house to me (i never get to see more than the sitting room in passing and the office) and her plans for the kitchen and bedrooms and everything. i hardly took in what she was saying about the design cos i was just so happy to listen to her voice talking. she also told me she d been in that house for 20 years and she was designing it with the next 20 in mind and that her partner lives with her and hes a T too! they ve been together 4 years and he uses her office sometimes (how very weird!! a man sitting in MY T's chair???) but they arrange it so neither of them is in the house when the other has a client. im so excited. this is the most self disclosure shes ever done and i asked so many questions and told her where i was and what i was feeling and we covered a LOT.
there are down sides: her offices is going to be out of commission for 5/6 weeks when its being refurbished and she said her clients would just have to take a break during that time (though its not probably until about next december). also now im even more afraid to tell her some things in a way because i feel now she might actually like me (how arrogant!!) so im even more afraid of scaring her off. plus now im so curious about her partner! lol. id love to see him and see why he s so important for her and does he measure up? is he good enough for her? does he make her life better? happier? what does he look like? what sort of therapy does he do? how old is he? where is he from? (how freaky and weird am i?) yuck. just got icky images of him hugging her. pah.
BUT. the good stuff is soooooooooo outweighing the bad.

ok. so to add a question...
does anyone here know when you ve actually made a connection with someone? how do you tell? how do you know its not just you obsessing or getting too attached when the other person couldnt care less about you or worse, actively doesnt like you but is being polite?
off to enjoy this nice warm feeling now.
wow. this ended up long! sorry! thank you if anyone actually made it to reading this far!