I can relate to the expense of a psychiatrist, even a therapist was always outside my budget. Consequently I've done a lot of self-therapy too. When I did see a therapist, it always amounted to the same thing: think positive, feel positive, be positive. Turn off the negative self talk. Believe in yourself. So many people would tell me they did't notice my strife, that I seemed normal and happy to them. I figured it was because they weren't paying attention or didn't want to discuss it. I wasn't able to speak clearly. I could think well, but I couldn't converse. I felt like I was in my own prison and there was no way out. The depression never lifted.
I couldn't feel satisfied. What I wanted was friends, lots of them. I wanted to be invited, included, welcome. I never felt that way. No one understood. I hated myself but I never stopped trying, to this day. I read and pondered and was totally consumed with my own dillemma. I cherished inspirational quotes like they were the stuff of life. I worked and worked to become a better person, thinking if I could just perfect my attitudes and response to life, all would fall into place. I meditated, prayed, communed with nature. I tried everything I could think of. Everyday I was still the same. I got so sick of putting up the happy front. I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't care anymore if they put me in a hospital. I was ready to tell all. I've heard about hitting bottom, something I could intellectually understand, but until I was at that point, I didn't appreciate it's true meaning. Whatever it takes to beat this, I will do. I did a life evaluation and made real steps towards the things I want instead of just wishing. I've accepted that there are things I can do, and things I shouldn't do. Just to keep my head together. If I have to sacrifice a wonderful social life to have peace of mind, then who needs it? I didn't have a wonderful social life anyway, just the desire for one.
I'm telling you my story because maybe you can find something useful here, not to lecture or sound like I know it all. I know what works for me. Many would probably point out that I still have the phobia, or I would involve myself socially. That's not true. I can socialize when I choose to. I simply don't choose to very often.
The single person always seems to appear the oddity, especially when everyone is hooked up some way with others. You can't even go to the store and buy meat selections for one. Commercials are filled with couples and families. Vacation packages are designed for two, etc......Subconciuosly we are programmed to think in terms of couples and families. Mortgage rates often require the income of two. Society is conditioned to think there is something wrong with being single. I think they are missing out on the pleasure and simplicity.

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius