He took me off the Wellbutrin and replaced it with Lexapro... I guess insomnia is a potntial side effect of Wellbutrin. I'm now on my third antidepressant in a month... frustrating. He also told me that until the Wellbutrin gets out of my system, I can occaisionally up the Seroquel back to 200 so I can sleep. He's going to refer me to a p-doc at my next appointment... my insurance is pretty crazy that way.

Stayed up long enough to wish my nine year old a happy birthday... he called me Lisa and my aunt Mom. Makes me wonder... how different things would have been if I would've seen any of my past p-docs long enough to actually get a diagnosis, maybe I'd still have all three of my kids. The boys are with my aunt and uncle, my daughter with my dad and step-mom. Dacey (my 10 year old daughter), still calls me mom... Dad and my step-mom are Grandpa Ron and Lynnie, and my dad wouldn't have it any other way.

I feel like I'm standing on a tightrope, and at this point, my balance is shaky at best. I'm still feeling depressed. I just want to run away, someplace else, more than 25 miles away from the family that has my kids. The only person who understands (or at least tries to understand) is my mom, and that's because she's a nurse and has worked in every department in the hospital at one time or another. Too bad she's in Texas.

Ugh. Time to get dressed so I can go to the bank and get some cash. That's another fun thing I'm still dealing with... a couple of fraudulent charges on my bankcard, and the bank still hasn't totally fixed it, or gotten me my new bankcard yet... yeah!

lisad