I agree-- gut feeling. I'm trying to remember if there was a certain moment when it clicked for me. I know there were little things that occured with T that let me know. I will never forget the time I had an appointment with my pdoc before my session with T. When I got up to Ts room, I couldn't even talk. I was depressed, overwhelmed, etc. We sat in silence for a couple of minutes, and then I feebly pointed to the door as if my arm was about to fall off. T said, "So how did that go?" I was just like... wow. I don't even have to verbalize and this man knows exactly what's on my mind. And a couple sessions ago he brought up a part of a dream that I had told him about a couple of months ago, to connect with something I was talking about in that session. He amazes me like that, and that's how I know he's the T I can connect with.

And Biiv-- it's funny what you say about your Ts partner. The only thing I know about my T is that he must be married because he wears a wedding ring, and of course, that makes me want to die. Sometimes I imagine him at home with his wife and kids (I don't even know if he has kids), and it drives me crazy. I have a completely unrealistic view of my T, and tend to think that he does not exist outside of our hour together. I told him that, but I never told him the thing about the wife and kids. I don't think I could go into that type of detail without wanting to jump out the window.

I'm really glad for you that you are able to enjoy the "warm feeling" after the session. That's wonderful that you can take that warmth and safety and bask in it outside of therapy.