Quote:
Originally Posted by JosieTheGirl
I have to also say- if someone is doing something just to be flashy, it's a complete turn off. The peacock thing doesn't work. you can tell when it's not their usual.
If you expect women not to "give you the time of day" in a tank and sweat pants? They won't.
They can tell you don't think much of yourself and that you don't expect to be given a chance. If you need that degree of confidence from something external, it usually shows for some women.
So if I happened upon you gardening versus at a nice cocktail party and you acted differently if I met you for the first time at each occasion? I find that to be a problem, and that's the impression I'm getting here.
I also shouldn't have to fight to be given a chance. If that's the case? The guy doesn't see how awesome i am just in how I interact with people and he's probably not aware enough that it would work anyway.
What guys find great about me is ME. When they come up and talk to me, it's because I'm laughing or smiling or having some silly pseudo-debate in a really entertaining way about what exactly the color puce is. [Also it's possible complimentary colors]. They like that I'm funny, slightly impulsive but try to curb that, I don't like hurting people's feelings. I'll go up to people randomly if I really want to say something to them, i always say thank you and please to people who serve me.
i start conversations with people who I want to notice me and ask questions about them.
Which is why I suggested it.
I don't flash my feathers. I have pretty much zero interest in someone's feathers, I don't care for that to be the reason they take interest in me.
Just another perspective, a little more explanatory than my previous posts.
Sorry! I just woke up haha.
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ok, i will clarify that for you..if i am grungy, dirty and smelly & wearing a tank & sweatpants and approach a young lady..the odds are against me, no lack of confidence..just an understanding of the world we live in..idk her..she doesn't know me, i could be a drug addict/wino for all she knows..we have this thing called stereotypes..unfortunately people subconsciously do this all the time, not everyone..maybe not even you, but let me ask you REALISTICALLY ...how many "you's" are truly out there, not many..the first thing ALL people look at is appearance..from that appearance..some type of judgement/assessment is made, doesn't make it right..just how society works.
so getting back to the gardening vs cocktail situation..in all situations i am myself...i don't change or be someone i am not, i love to dress nice and look good, that's part of who i am..i shop a lot, moreso than most guys..all my clothing/outfits match..it's a must for me, i like to look my best at all times..that will never change.(.it has little to do with hitting on women), but because of that..who i am..the women in my life i like to look good, that's just me.
some people don't care about their appearance, those people are not for me.
everyone is different & i respect that. i'm not a slob & i don't want a slob on my arm..that's my opinion and my choice..doesn't make it wrong or right..it's just me. personality and a great sense of humor is important to me too..i'm greedy i want the total package(hey what can i say..who says you can't have it all!)
so i get what you're saying, no one wants an asshole..but you'll find that out usually within the first six months anyway..but really we are kinda of getting off subject, we are talking about "first base" so to speak..getting the foot in the door & attracting someone IF YOU ARE ACTIVELY LOOKING. if you are not actively looking/trying to attract someone & you look like crap & they hit on you..that's a bonus, it really is..i have had it happen to me before( i think when i was washing the cars or something) so yes it does happen and i don't deny that..but the point here is the OP is ACTIVELY SEEKING TO ATTRACT SOMEONE not just randomly getting hit on...that is the point we are missing here
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I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!
