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Originally Posted by trying2survive
beings smart, funny and nice and all that good stuff is great...but it doesn't amount to a hill of beans if you never get the chance to meet a person.
i'm being realistic..talking about people IN GENERAL in the REAL WORLD...
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This is the same "real world" that I live in too right? I mean there couldn't possibly be more than one of them...
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thee are plenty of great guys & gals that are wonderful people and would make excellent gf/bf but they my be overweight/nerdy/ugly etc. great people still but will be having all types of hell finding someone. sadly the reality is we live in a superficial society & people do place a premium on looks and appearance, i wouldn't imagine a person would go on a job interview in a pair of sweats and a t shirt...most people don't go out to clubs and bars in that type of attire either.
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Given your response in your previous post? I'm not entirely convinced you actually think that someone who isn't "typically" attractive [media standards] would make a good SO.
You wear things appropriate to an interview because it demonstrates you have your act together and you understand how to function in an appropriate work/office environment. In a lot of ways it is also a show of respect.
I'm fat, I really don't have a lot of problems dating, as i mentioned. But that's silly... because I'm fat and only wear comfortable clothing, so I've cut my odds down to near nil, right? Not really.
Also, if you don't really like going to clubs, it doesn't matter if you don't dress like you are going to a club- the people you want to find and meet won't be going to clubs or dressing up like that either.
We can go back and forth on that all day. I'm happy with who I'm dating, didn't meet him in a club or wearing club like clothing or doing other stuff that is way out of character for me. So I met someone I get along with.
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so be advised everyone has an opinion..it may not be POLITICALLY CORRECT but they are opinions & i know quite a few people that think as i do, doesn't mean i am right or wrong...just my opinion.
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I
definitely acknowledged the whole opinion thing, I think we got that.
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some guys won't talk to girls they perceive to be overweight...the girl might be a wonderful person, sadly that is a barrier to some people. there are girls that are the same way.
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I think you missed my point that those are not generally people who are compatible for everyone anyway. Sure I'm fat now, but I have been thin before [at times svelt, even]. I still didn't like it when a guy talked to me solely because of my level of attractiveness or was generally making decisions about people based on weird stuperficial stuff.
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some won't deal with someone who is unemployed...technically it shouldn't matter,right? long as they are a "nice' person that is "funny & confident"
for some people that is a major turn off, doesn't make it right or wrong...just a matter of opinion.
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Look. Unemployed, smelly, disheveled, bad hygeine... those are separate issues from what you wear specifically.
They indicate levels of having your s*** together or not. Circumstances can be individual [in the instance of employment for example]. But wearing a specific outfit or not has no bearing on the amount of s*** one has together in his or her life. It's preference- omg just like you painfully pointed out earlier.
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there are quality people that dress nice and quality people that look like shyt,
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Again, this initially started with clothing choice and now it's like... "looking nice" or "looking like crap".
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myself..i'm not actively seeking anyone..but i know what to do if i wish to & so far it has worked quite well, i have never had a problem attracting a mate & i imagine i never will..hee hee so i offer tips to help those who have less experience than i do, advice is objective..you can take it or leave it.
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Heh.
Ok, so the people looking for some one can go through our tips and sort through the nonsense.
[quote]we know what we bring to the table and expect the same. one persons "shallow" is another persons "picky" i get that & that's fine i accept that.[quote]
So maybe it's possible other people are extremely selective about completely different things? [generally not hygiene or being unkempt or not or looking after yourself for examples... most of which you seemed to have some how mixed in there with like, a sense of sophistication and higher maintenance fashion... somehow. Which is a bit confusing]
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so at the end of the day you can increase the odds or keep doing what you are doing...if it ain't working...you might want to try something else..just a thought.
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I agree.
Though I would say that "something else" is not necessarily to do something that is not representative of who you are.
Start wearing heels all the time if you don't usually, start a daily hour make up ritual if you barely think to put on lip gloss.