First I want to say that I'm very sorry you were sexually and emotionally abused like this at such a young age. It's bad enough at any age. You were obviously traumatized by this person. HE HAD NO RIGHT TO DO WHAT HE DID TO YOU AND NO RIGHT TO TREAT YOU THE WAY HE DID. Please keep telling yourself that. You're trying to figure things out and going back and forth in your head about it. This is normal. It's fortunate you're realizing that you were abused now and not years later.

You're not pathetic. You're not a drama queen. And the fact that some people have it worse doesn't negate the fact that you were badly hurt by all this. You're being very courageous facing this demon and writing it all down. Keep posting on PC to get things off your chest. It's very helpful.

You need hug