I've given up trying to figure out why my abusive parents were the way they were. It doesn't really matter anyway. It's not likely your parents can be punished. You would have to have proof and after so many years probably nothing would be done.

But even if they were punished the damage has already been done to you and you have to try to heal now. Punishing them won't take away the emotional scars.

Keep posting here to get things off your chest and if you're not seeing a T, try to get one to help to maneuver your way through the memories.