Hi LLP. I'm not sure if you have had any resolution in this; I see that this post is nearly two months old. I have never been in a cult, but I have been involved in things that were destructive and took me away from myself and my life. It's happened a few times for me. It's difficult to get back in. I can't tell you what to do but I can share my experience. I find that it doesn't work for me to try to wedge myself back into the 'real world'. My anxiety comes from the fact that the 'real world' (as in, the world I used to occupy, with all my old friends, jobs, family, etc) no longer fits for me. I can't pretend to be someone I'm not; I'm too sensitive and too honest, and I can't live a lie. Living a lie takes me to dark and dangerous places. And I can't be around people who have no patience or compassion for me. Have you thought about trying to meet new people who have similar experiences? It doesn't necessarily have to be recovering from a cult experience, although if you could find someone (even a group of people would be better) with that shared experience, all the better. But it could be anyone who understands what it's like to lose everything. People with mental health issues, addiction issues, those recovering from traumas or abusive relationships...there are all kinds of people in this world who are alone, afraid to reach out, afraid to look people in the eye. That would be a good start. Having the social support of people who truly understand me is ESSENTIAL to my mental and emotional health. If you have a hard time finding these people initially, feel free to message me anytime. Good luck with everything, and just try to keep going. It's the hardest part but I promise you it's worth it.