Hey there,

Not sure if I am posting in the right forum, let me know if I am in fact not.

Dissociation is one of my biggest issues. I have for a long time wanted to go to school for child and youth care, but have put it off because I am afraid that I won't be able to absorb anything.

I have such a hard time thinking. Like, when people who meditate explain that their goal in meditation is a blank pallet, a clear mind, I always want to tell them that it isn't that hard, I've been in that state for years. Almost like I am on auto pilot, and I can't take control of the vehicle even when I try.

I have huge issues with my memory. Both long term and short term. Often times, a friend will talk about a conversation that was had between them and myself, and I will have no recollection of it at all. Or even situations.

I'll drive to the store, and then home, but not remember which route I took, or what I bought, or if I even bought anything.

I try to take interest in things, but because I can't make my mind work a lot of the time, I fail to take interest. I also have a hard time relating with others because I'm so detached from my own emotions.

Does anyone else have similar experiences?