I so identify with you all!...we have so much in common, let's go on a vacation together in a travel trailer!!!just kidding...very sick joke! But, seriously, I have the same situation, don't want to be with anybody long, would rather go shop in someplace nobody recognizes me. I don't fear people. In fact, I can put on such a good act of friendly that I disgust even myself. I read Dale Carnegi's book "How to win Friends and Influense People", so learned just what to say and not to say, to be chatty and not reveal a thing about myself. I don't like myself very much for being such a hypocrite. But I have gotten so I can say no to invitations, usually.
I'm having therapy for this, have been for a year but only somewhat better. One thing I've discovered is that as long as I have a T to talk to every week, I can give more to others and be more sociable. Maybe I just need to do therapy the rest of my life. Go from one T to another and get my own needs met first, then I can care about someone else. I really don't think that would be immoral, do you? And who cares a flip if I become a perpetual patient?