Wow...ok....my 2 cents...and I have them to spend, evidently.

I agree with T2S and I get what he's trying to say. From a female stand point, if the guy looks like crap on first meeting, odds are I will be polite (hell, I'm unfailingly polite) but I will not even consider him as bf material (if I'm looking for a bf...and that IS a big part of the discussion here)...maybe as 'friend' material...and then maybe...years later, as bf material after we've talked and I've helped him with his self-esteem issues and taught him that bathing is good etc...but I digress.

The fact is, both men and women are VISUAL animals. We make our very first judgement on any given person based on that first, rightly or wrongly...and please can we totally step away from the quandary that is 'profiling' and stay on topic? cause I just feel a lot of you bristling right now! lmao If I see a guy in the garden ..ummm gardening, I don't expect a suit, but if I go to a nice club and see him still in his 'gardening attire' I'm not gonna be the first one to step up and ask his name 'and btw, my name is.....etc' Just not gonna happen. First impressions with us ladies matter a LOT. And not just because we may or may not be looking for a mate. Survival of humans depended on it...so if you meet a great looking guy, dressed wonderfully and APPROPRIATELY to the situation and after a few minutes of talking, you can tell there is something not quite 'right' about him (he makes nasty comments about other people, is generally negative) well, then absolutely...you take your empty wine glass and plead 'necessary' and move on. But you have to WANT to talk to him first. And that won't happen if the visual criteria isn't met. First.

And I have a question after all that....are we talking IRL? This OP wants to attract a man IRL or onliine? Cause we're talking 2 very different animals here. Online you can be wearing an unwashed sweatshirt, seven-day-shyters, not bathed in days...in weeks even and be the most astonishing conversationalist, the most witty, profound and stimulating person ever.....and no one has to see you. In that case, of course....personality is ALL... it's also a venue some find more terrifying than just meeting IRL. Because, for some....that is where the 'performance' starts and by that, people, I don't mean fakery. I mean....for some people who may look like a George Clooney (just go with me here) and are totally shy, but NOT stupid....they're used to not having to actually participate in mutual conversations, (because of said physical gifts) and although they might be able to, they are lost in the art of actually TALKING to a person. In conversing. One on one. and Online......text based.....there ARE NO George Clooney's....there ARE NO Angolina Jollie's.....and even if a person does not classify themselves in that category, they still might be put off, because of fear, of online conversation.

I'll sum up because I'm getting lost in the diatribe and pretty sure you all would want me to anyway.....IRL, if the OP wants to attract a man...take care of herself, look like she does, walk talk, proud and confident and mind the thin line between 'arrogant' and 'confident'...and if she really wants to meet someone and finds someone somewhere she likes....don't be afraid to make the 'first move' i.e. just freaking say hello. Just walk up and ask 'are you with someone?' (he knows what you mean) If he says no, then give him your 'card'...(and girls....we have cards now...it's classy. It says what we do, and it says we have a life outside of ourselves. If you have to, do, but try not to have to write your phone # on a napkin. Says all kinds of 'trashy') and after you give him your card, smile and say "call me....maybe we can have a coffee together" That's it. If he calls, great...if he doesn't...well, you've only wasted and inth of a rainforest.

If it's online you want to meet, talk to a man....step up your game. Conversation and the art of it hasn't changed much in 1000 years. Find out what he likes and if you're not familiar...google it so you can speak with knowledge, not just blighted opinion. BUT, have opinions....men (and women) loathe someone who is too agreeable and shows no difference as after all...we learn by seeing opposites. Try to see the lighter, stupider, funnier side of life. Men (and women) appreciate humour....in fact, we gravitate to it. You don't have to tell a joke but just recognize the stupidity that is our lives and be able to find the kernel of 'funny' in it. Be yourself, relax...and mostly, both online and offline..............LISTEN. Don't be waiting for your turn to speak, thinking about what you're going to say next. LISTEN TO HIM / HER.

That is the sexiest thing you will ever do. Hands down, bar none.

Just sayin.