((((pinksoil))))

Sounds like you are under more stress than usual and it is manifesting in unhealthy ways--SI, agitation. For some of these destructive symptoms, I have found CBT methods can really help. Even though I am not a CBT fan for my therapy experience, the techniques can help me when I devolve into destructive behavior (for me it is anxiety/depression). With those symptoms under control I can then work on getting at the root in depth-oriented therapy and really solving the problems. I don't know if this approach would work for you, but thought I'd throw it out there. Maybe you could ask your T next time for some assistance with coping strategies when you are so stressed?

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What do I need him for anyway?

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Good question and one I know a lot of us ask. For me, I've decided I need my T so much because it is one hour a week that I spend with someone who is nice to me. Life is hard right now, and to be able to go to someone's office and have this person be empathetic and warm and caring is just what I need. It's like an oasis in the desert, or the calm in the storm. Our "relationship" is helping offset the negatives in my life right now. I've stopped being worried about the attachment and viewing it as a negative thing. I now view it as a positive thing. Because isn't it amazing that despite all the crap in my life (not trying to be whining), I still can put forth the effort and energy to attach so strongly to someone? That's what I need him for. He has allowed me to see I still care enough to attach, that I still can do this, that I'm not unreachable.

Hang in there, pinksoil. Only a few more days. Call your T again if you need to. It's OK. He knows.