I always thought my highs and lows were normal and it wasn't really until a friend told me that I realized they weren't. I'm scared because I'm currently on vacation and am worried I might change my mind and decide not to get help after I get back. My friend told me that it's my decision but I wish she would force me or give me some kind of ultimatum, maybe then I wouldn't rethink it a million times like I have. I want to figure this out but that is just for now, my opinion changes as much as my mood, and often they work together. I know it's my choice and I have to really want it, that doesn't make it any easier.