you probably "present well" i do and I warn them early that I look better then I really am. That's why I write so much to my T. I know the style of writing I use here and between friends tend to have a more urgent tone then when I write to myself or her. I have no idea how much translates to my file. I know not a lot on her end. I know that they both view my symptoms differently.

I don't have time to play with drugs, or feel drugged but I don't have time to become aggressive ( well at this point I mean more aggressive and irritable). I'm the one figuring out how to move 6 households across the country. I need to be able to make on the spot calculations and desicions with In the sentence. If I can't pull off this years of planning go out the window. I need to pull of cool and confident in front of everyone while coming completely apart. I need to keep it together.

I know I was depressed since October through end of march. Then I was stable but not and now I guess (hypo)manic.

I'm sure I am much sicker than I think because I'm the most healthy in my family.