There are different views on everything in life. My view is that life itself is a learning process. I've been diagnosed several times in my life to be bipolar I. I don't take any medication to stay stable. I have had 4 manic episodes in my life and have lost jobs during these episodes, but I'm actually grateful for losing these jobs. The reason is because I'm a very righteous person and as I look back at these jobs, everyone of them forced me to lower my integrity in order to keep the job. I didn't work with bad people and they didn't necessarily break laws, but the actions were very questionable. I didn't want to be the person I was in the past even though I was considered a very good person. I went along with those actions to keep my position, but deep inside I couldn't live life that way. I am now strong enough to be the person I want and need to be. I refuse to lower my integrity just to fit into society. I have thus begun my new journey to allow myself to keep the highest standards while earning a good living.

I'm new to this board and have been reading people's messages. My experiences are very different from most on this board. I hope I can lift up others on this board and help as many people to live a great life.

It sounds like the meds are definitely taking some of your enthusiasm away, but they are also stabilizing your moods. You should never rush anything that can't be rushed, but maybe at some point you may want to try to just reduce some of the dosage of your medication. Definitely discuss this with your doctor. I don't believe this is how your life will always be. I don't know when it will change, but never lose hope that it can.