SkyWhite, thank you again for your reply, really means a lot. Yeah, I am seeing my T, but I haven't been going for a few months as I cant even think about being to accept it. Its such a vicious circle, as I begin to accept it, I start to convince myself it wasn't anything bad again, and it keeps going and going.
I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that. I hope you heal, you deserve to x