So I know I need to be grateful for what I do have: a job, a family, health insurance, a home, etc. And I am thankful.

I found out that there may be an issue with my insurance. I know it's not a big deal. My T has always always always been kind about the money stuff (I'm always worried about insurance dropping me due to it being medically unnecessary) and willing to work with me. Honestly, I could pay the full rate although my husband might be mad so idk....

It's not even for sure there's an issue, but just thinking about it reminds me of the financial transactions and the purpose of therapy. I wish I could just go to T forever but that's ridiculous. I'm supposed to be getting better but sometimes I think my problems are really incurable. That my expectations are out of line with reality. I'm starting to go into heavy denial - saying things to myself like, "you never needed therapy. It's not even important. You're self-indulgent. Get over yourself - T could care less. You're just a stepping stone in his career."

I can detach from people quickly. Emotionally I just turn off. It didn't take long to do it to my T......which is my whole problem in life. Idk....just a rant I guess.

Anyone have positive stories about insurance making mistakes? If you pay out of pocket, is it a strain on your finances and your relationship with a significant other? Do you ever worry about losing your T due to $$$?

And mostly, how do you come to terms with the T relationship seeming to be so intimate and yet, boiling down to money? It's hard for me to reconcile these two things, I think....