That is exactly what is happening to me right now. I say yah, it happened, it was bad, very traumatic, but it wasn't that bad, they weren't all bad, so on and so on. Your right, the mind keeps flip flopping all over the place. It can be a real pain in the ***** but is a normal process. It's also natural to be anxious about delving deeper into this, but it'll be well worth it.

Try going back to your T and don't worry about whether you can accept it or not right now. Your T won't force you to. Take your time. You'll be able to maneuver the vicious cycle better with some help.