Good afternoon everyone, my turn to be mad at me.

I had a session earlier today that did not go well. I was all over the place with what I wanted to discuss and some of it came out wrong as usual. There were also periods of silence on my end too. WTH?

I have another session tomorrow. T asked me last week if I wanted to see him twice a week for a bit. I explained about the anxiety I go through between sessions. It is because I haven't learned to articulate my thoughts in 45 minutes and and I over analyze his intentions with stuff he says or doesn't say. The silence is because I am trying to do on the spot over analyzing the minute he says something that catches my attention and I'm looking for the criticism that isn't there.

Well, he seemed surprise that I will be back tomorrow when I mentioned it. That was the only time that worked for me twice this week based on his availability too.

I'm wondering now if he's changed his mind? He thinks I should do some relaxation techniques for some of my sessions but that means I can't blather on...giggle. I'm feeling rather stupid now...

Maybe he's tired of hearing me blather on? I just can't go in there tomorrow and say once again "so do you not want to hear me talk anymore"..."you said blah, blah, blah..." this insanity on my end needs to stop.

I could cry for an hour right now...