I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling so much right now. Does your school have a counselling services that you could go to and speak to someone about how you're feeling?

If it makes you feel any better, freshman was my worst year of college for similar reasons (minus the roommate - but I had that problem later!). It's hard living in residence and having people constantly around. People that you constantly have to be social with and put on a face to cover up how you are really feeling. I found that after I moved off campus, life became a bit more normal in that I gained my space back. In the meantime, are there any places on campus that you could go just to be alone? I know for me, I would go and sit in the rows of the psychology section in the library, or there was a quiet place in one of the buildings on campus that I would go to to do work.

Also, I know how hard the eating/sleeping thing can be. Melatonin at night might help with the sleeping part? And if you can get a good night rest in, it might help to put you back on more of a regular eating pattern too? Consistency is the best for both of those things.... however the University lifestyle doesn't always allow for that to happen.

Just try and focus on the things that ARE within your control. Focus on how you choose to spend your time, and on the resources that ARE within your grasp that you can utilize. I totally understand how wanting to self harm feels outside of your control, but the behaviour of acting on those thoughts is.

Gentle hugs,
Jacq