Hi, ItGoesOn. I have had the same problem. I can have a miserable wave of depression hit me where I feel like I just want to die. The best thing you can do when it hits is to find someone you can trust to talk to. Writing seems to help me. Praying tends to help too. I have found that I need medication to help as well. Therapy might help too. I wish I had some great advice but I deal with the same thing as you. Posting here helps because there are lots of people here dealing with the same issues and we care and understand. Hang in there.