I understand what you're saying. It's taken me two solid years to get to a point where I can say I'm in full remission, and even so, I can't say I'm stable because it's only been a couple of months since my last episode. Impatient? You better believe it. I am so sick of losing bits and pieces of myself to this illness it's not even funny. I've lost friendships, respect, even jobs because of it. So yeah, I'm damned impatient, and if my current combination of meds turns out NOT to be the Holy Grail after all, I'm going to be furious!!

That being said, what "stable" looks like to me is long periods of being able to carry on about my business every day without symptoms. That doesn't mean never getting angry or having a bad day, it means those things happen sometimes without me being triggered and going into orbit. It means not thinking about bipolar all the time or always waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. It means dealing with life on MY terms, not those of the illness.

If you're still not sleeping well and you're having lots of symptoms, you aren't yet on the right treatment. Unfortunately this IS a recurring illness and we will get sick from time to time even if we're perfect in our self-care, but it doesn't have to be a battle every single day. I would definitely talk to your pdoc ASAP and then keep experimenting until you arrive at the right combination of meds. Most of us need more than one to control symptoms. In the meantime, make sure to go to bed and get up at the same times every day, try to eat at the same times every day too and make a routine for yourself. This helps reset your body clock and will eventually even out your sleep patterns, which is very important in the management of BP.

Please be patient with yourself. You didn't ask for this disease, it's not your fault that you have it. Don't expect to be 'fixed' so quickly either; it takes some BPs literally years to stabilize, so the fact that you're still having symptoms 7 months in isn't as bad as you think. And always remember, no matter how bad you feel on a given day, that this too shall pass. It always does.