Dear ItGoesOn: so sorry you are struggling right now - depression is exhausting. Kudos to you for fighting it by yourself for so long - would you consider reaching out for a therapist, medications, or some group support? [sorry- assuming you have not used this and/or are wanting to try this - not everyone cares to do so]. Many good suggestions here - good also to keep posting if you are finding it helpful and supportive. Look forward to hearing back from you on this thread if you are up to it - please tell what would most help you,now.

take care - Bolivar