I know EXACTLY how you feel. My meds have "stabilized me" me somewhere south of normal. I miss my hypo-manic times so much...and the creativity and the joy that came with them. I feel just "mono-tone" now if you will...I mean I'm fine, I guess, but where's that "life of the party" guy I used to know? Like you say...is this it?...is this all?...am I going to be this way forever?
Just wanted you to know your not alone in the way that you feel.
Take care,
D