The further I step from him the more I see how unhealthy our relationship was and all it does is make me angrier at myself.

When he was trying to date that other women, the first time he mentioned his intentions to me he said he was telling me because it was the right thing to do but that he didn't care about my opinion he was going to do it anyway.

Right there. Right ****ing there he told me exactly how little he cared about me and I ignored it. The hell sort of pathetically stupid is that?

When I called him on how he was taking his anger at her out on me he got mad at me for not supporting him when he needed it and I agreed.

He never loved me. He loved that for the tiniest bit of pretend affection I would worship him and let him walk all over me.

I hate myself for being so damned pathetic.

I hate myself for feeling sorry for him because to run someone into the ground like that just to feed one's own egotistical delusions he must be experiencing a whole lot of pain and emotional turmoil under that facade of his.

I hate myself because I can't forgive myself.