Called suicide hotline. They gave me info of place I found out before. I don't want to go through the doctors and the waiting and all those drugs again! And it's so far away from me and it's hard for me to get to and it's going to be a long ride on the buses to get there and the waiting and such. I don't want to be a bother to this family and I see how much of a bother I must have been to my parents who have already passed away. My siblings hated me for it so they kicked me out of their lives. Is this what my life have come to???!!! Being homeless with mental illness??!! Suicide hotline can't help me.