Quote:
Originally Posted by Lacer Vita
Hallucinations are freaky. Mine manifests as one being, who's been around most of my life. He has a distinct personality and is sadistic and dominating. He gives me messages through the radio. He messes with my tarot cards. He shows up just behind me and a little to the right. Sometimes I see him, but more often I feel him. Watching. Judging. Commanding. I hate it. I know he's not real, but sometimes I forget. It's easy to believe that he is a spiritual entity that is haunting me, and will steal my soul when I die. When I remember, he's merely bothersome and a little upsetting. When I forget, he is terrifying.
Anyway, I came on here to write that I've just been put on Risperdal in addition to my Zyprexa, and am on two different anti-depressants, besides. It just hit me all over again that this disease is life long. My shadowy stalker is not going to magically disappear. I'll have good times, but eventually it will come back and it will be time again to adjust medications. I feel... tired.
How do you deal?
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I too felt like I was getting spiritual contact. I thought I was being hunted, watched, and spoken too by evil spirits. I also have positive images of my dead grandmother and mother. They don't talk they just smile and are encouraging and then they are gone. I can't find them anymore. It's a terrible feeling. I tell my symptoms to my Dr. and clincian and sometimes my case worker. They all agree that I am no psychic but disturbed. I am haunted by visions. But they have gotten mostly better. I am on Abilify 30 mg, Effexor XR 150mg, trazodone 50mg, Propanolol 80mg, and hydroxyzine 150mg. Thank God for Abilify! I feel more alive than I've felt in years. I still see shadow people alot still and the voices are muffled and sound like a radio. I turn my music up and TV up and that seems to help. I do find that the "radio sound" is very frustrating, I can't tell what they are saying. I guess i should just be grateful that I am finally free of the horrific visions that I used to see. Thank you for listening.
hopefully, your new friend,
Tanja or mysticalmusic.