Thank you for all your understanding and support.

I agree that it isn't always necessary to talk about the self harm and that expressing the emotions to family and friends is just as helpful. I rarely discuss self harm with anyone except my therapist because it's pretty tough to admit to and i don't really need to. I think I was finding it hard to find the right words in the first post to tell my family, saying I was overwhelmed just wouldn't have matched it. Actually reflecting back now I wanted someone to know, to offer me support during the time, someone to check in on me etc, and perhaps I found it hard to ask for that from them. So I came here.

I think it was that I needed to not feel alone and to be accepted and understood. I didn't need solutions just someone to listen and respond so I had an outlet somewhere.

Although I did end up minorly self harm (the way I do when I'm most unthinking - always catches me out that silent part of me that wants to self destruct!), I am pleased that I managed so well and felt in control during most of the weekend. Plus, the most important part is that I enjoyed most of the wedding, so I do have good memories and when we talk about it in the future I won't have to fake feelings - and that means a lot to me! I wanted to share in her joy.

Thank you all for your support, it would have been a lot more difficult without it. It means a lot to me.