Hi there.
Can someone try to help me to get out of this stage?
I live in pretty dysfunctional family, with my mother, father and 4 year older sister (35). We are so enmeshed emotionally and psychologically, without relationships. Last time when I found a girlfriend, my family was on the last place to know, because they feel like I am abandoning them. My father is an adult child of alcoholic and he fills his emotional batteries with my sister, she is his emotional caretaker. My mother is here but she turned herself off towards my father cause he is emotional hole without a bottom.
I accept that Oedipus and Electra complex are normal fazes of psycho-sexual development, but what to do when parents fall into that same trap and have emotional benefit from it?
I feel so dirty and guilty of having that complex in my childhood, but I really didn't knew how to make a boundary - that is parents job. They failed to do that for their emotional benefit... I remember my mom giving me these flirtatious looks occasionally and I liked it. Also, my sisters emotional needs are fulfilled by my father and she doesn't need a boyfriend. Damn....
Yes, in my family just that happened - our emotional needs were on family and relationship (boyfriend-girlfriend) level so enmeshed... so emotional incestuous. Of course, on a physical level, there is nothing. Oh yes, there is - we never touch each other, NEVER EVER, just cause because unawareness of normal family and sexual touch and boundary.
How to get out of it? What can I do?