Hi, FatPatheticLoserGirl, and welcome to Psych Central! It sounds to me like you might be dealing with some depression. In fact, there is such a thing as "post-partum" depression. I was distressed with the weight gain I had after the birth of my children, but I was able to slim down some after each one. And negative feelings about ourselves can be depression talking.

Are you and your baby's husband married now? I have to say that I would be worried until things were official, especially since he did go back to this wife for a week. He needs to end that officially, as far as I am concerned. And, not to add fuel to your fire, but if a man will cheat on one wife, then he is more likely to cheat on another. Sounds like you and he need to have a very serious talk.

Living with a newborn and a difficult six-year-old would be hard for anyone. You do need some friends to be supportive and encouraging. And you also need to be nice to yourself. Could you get out with your children? Mabye go to McDonald's or a place with a playground? I found I dealt with having two children close together easier if we didn't feel all cooped up together. And maybe you can meet other moms, too.

I suggest you consider posting in the Relationships and Communication forum and also in the Healthy Parenting forum, to see what folks there have to say.

Yes, I am willing to be a friend. I can't do a "best buddy," though, because I have to be very busy with my volunteer work here. However, I suggest you check out the social groups here and also look for kindred souls on the forums. We all benefit from having someone else to share our concerns with, especially folks in similar situations!

We just have to deal with what our situation is now, not looking back and just wishing things could be different. Okay?

I can tell you do have inner strength, whether you feel like you do or not. You are wise to be reaching out.

You can certainly keep in touch with me.