Well - I had a good chat with my therapist today. She said this was a topic she'd been wondering how to bring up and she was glad we discussed it. Although I'm doing a lot of damage in the relationship by pushing my psychiatrist so far and so hard that it looks like I've scared him, she also felt that he has issues too. I had to laugh when she used the word co-dependent and when she said, "You clever girl, you've discovered his weak spots" since I've been attacking his insecurities. We both have boundary problems too and I've just written him with some suggested rules to start with. He's really not trained to be a therapist, but I attempt to do therapy with him.

The confrontation last week with him really rocked my boat - I felt like I lost an anchor and that my world tilted. But now I realize what was going on for me and can redefine things for myself. It was good that things came to a head for me because now I can be more careful about pushing my psychiatrist over the edge and eventually making him refer me elsewhere. (I don't want to go elsewhere - He is good at what he does do.)

My therapist suggested new ways to approach my psychiatrist. Like instead of having an argument with him for reals, that I tell him I feel the need to have an argument (and I do, but I don't know why) and say maybe we could talk about it. She also suggested I evaluate whether or not I'm getting what I need from the appointments and if I should see him quite so frequently - which I had just begun considering. It will save me insurance allowed visits to use elsewhere.

Anyways - I'm glad that it's not just me having a problem even if I am the instigator.