Sorry you're feeling this way. Quitting smoking is super-hard; it takes multiple attempts and it's ok to fall off the wagon. We're all human; It's going to happen. Nicotine is meth-level addictive. Get back on the wagon when you're feeling up to it.

You knew that you needed the cigarette in that moment to cope. And then you reached out. You took care of yourself. That's adult behavior.