Called up hotline this morning. Got info that I already got of place. My friend far away called for me too without me knowing. She wanted me to go right away. I got directions on how to get there. Don't know which one to go to. I have to figure out my living situation as I fear this depression is not going away as I feel at this point that I don't have the strength to be positive anymore. I don't have the strength to do all the positive self help anymore. I really don't have it anymore or the willingness as everything seems hopeless. I can't even pray anymore. Will try to get to hospital tomorrow. Will have to figure out if I have to go to shelter as I don't want to bother the family I am with with this illness.