I hope the insurance issue goes in your favor.

I don't use insurance and only go biweekly in order to maintain financial stability. I don't want it to become an issue in my marriage. To be fair, my husband knew my issues when we married. I was stable but I didn't come with baggage. I came with the whole freaking luggage set and he was crazier than me. He chose a life I didn't want. He understood that I couldn't choose a therapist with insurance restrictions.

I don't worry about losing my T because of finances but she is starting to talk about weekly sessions. That won't happen unless I get a job. the financial aspect keeps things in perspective for me. I have enough confusion and a low tolerance for chaotic relationships.

I was in denial for many years but I wasn't in therapy. It doesn't work. If it did, I doubt you'd be trying to convince yourself therapy isn't necessary.

I'm a bit confused. You say "I wish I could just go to T forever..." but you also say "I can detach from people quickly. Emotionally I just turn off. It didn't take long to do it to my T......which is my whole problem in life. Idk....just a rant I guess. " I wonder if this part of your denial? Would/does it bother you to be emotionally attached to your therapist?