Thanks guys. I have been thinking of doing just that. And then I wonder if I will regret it. But so much time is going by. I am tired. Tired of it all. My doctor just keeps saying its mood swings. But I am not getting them and yet am majorly affected by my family. The prolonged crying is grief and stuff I kept locked up for a lot of years. It took a long time for a doctor to get me to let my tears out and now I can't stop. From what I read I keep hoping I come out the other side into some kind of peace. Its funny my Dad had said he was there and why did I never call and tell him what was going on. I did I wrote a letter and put it in his mail box one night and never heard a thing back. Then once my ex broke in the house one night and I was on the phone to my Dad at the time. My ex ripped the phone off the wall smashed up the house and beat me. My Dad never even showed up and he lived 10 minutes away. The next minute he is in denial again. It drives me crazy and then I cry and can't stop.