Hi,

My wife has been without a job for closing in on a year now. I make over double the average household income and we have no kids, so money is not really the issue. I worked very hard to get where I am at, and I keep working hard every day. But I enjoy what I do, so it's not that I resent her for sitting at home all day.

The issue is that all I see is this lack of ambition to do anything, all she ever wants to do is sit around and do nothing. It is very hard for me to deal with someone with no ambition or motivation to do anything with their life, much less be married to someone like that!

I don't think I would care if she wanted to do something with a .1% chance of ever making a profit, e.g., artist, writer, etc. or even if she would just be happy to wait tables and get out of the house...just something! I would happily support her to return to school, or whatever she needs, but there just isn't any drive or passion there.

Most of our discussions are small talk. Every time I try and have an actual conversation about feelings/goals/ambitions she just shut downs. It is usually even hard to get an honest opinion out of her about non-personal job related topics. She always seems to just not want to offer up any opinion at all.

Not sure if this is depression, she does not think she needs to see a doctor, we have talked about this already. Would relationship counseling help? I might be able to convince her to go if I go as well. I mean a big part of this could be me, or the way I am handling the situation. Should I see counseling on my own? Divorce?-- not something I think would want to consider except as a last resort, but I am really nearing the end of my rope here. Maybe we have just changed since we are married and are no longer compatible?