I doubt it, but the following may contain mildly trigger stuff, ... nothing serious, just like, ... OCD (intrusive thoughts area) stuff, really.

Good question, ... albeit a little depressing.

I've not really fully decided what I want to do with my life, but one thing seems pretty solid, and that's German; I love the language, (been studying it from home for 4 or so years) like speaking to the people, and am intrigued by the country. I'd like to study German at college, then university, where I would learn to speak it fluently. I would like to be a translator. Think about it, what could be easier than simply doing what comes naturally: "speaking" Sounds like such a nice job to have; bridging the gap between two languages and even cultures. (although I like to think I do a tiny bit of that, already, by helping some people realise that German people can be awesome)

Since I'm pretty good with computers and have been dealing with them (hardware and software) for 11 years or more (well, first got interested in them at primary school, so that was a good few years ago!) I'd say that would be a good career choice, but not one that really gets me all excited, anymore. I used to be really enthusiastic about them, but now it's just a skill I possess but that's it, ... I don't get the same feeling I do when I learn something in German, or figure out something that had previously confused me, in German.

There's also fitness, ... I mean, I'm already workout out, and I love it, but I think if I were "well", I'd probably wanna at least try the gym, ... my bedroom is my gym, but I'd like to use some of the fancy gear gyms typically have. Granted, my step-mother also has her own gym with some of said fancy gear, but they're hers, .. wouldn't feel right using them. xD Plus I have a thing about working out in absolute privacy, so as not to be disturbed, ... I hate being disturbed during a workout. >.< When I finally get out of here and into my own place, whenever a certain company manages to find me one ¬_¬ I plan to grab some more gym gears and try new things... I really miss pullups... man, they are a lot of fun on stuff like trees. xD Good times.

I'd have a better time with relationships, ... friendships, too. I'd certainly go out a lot more. (I rarely go out as it is, although, I'm hoping to change that once I've got myself looking better to the point of not feeling so self-conscious) and therefore meet more people, ... get back to being social again. Part of me missing going to the pub and meeting new people. or chilllaxing on the field in my town, on a nice sunny day, with a bunch of mates, and guitar in hand, ... ah, damn those were good times. Heck, if I were well, I might even be in a great relationship by now, even considering marriage. 'o.O Jesus, maybe even kids, ... that's horrifying.

I'd be visiting my brah a lot more. (best mate of 8 or so years, very much like a brother) I expect he and I would hang out a lot, and go off to cool places, .... I know he has wanted me to come with him to see bands for yeeeeears, and I've always refused because of the anxiety and stuff. I'd like to think I'd just be a better friend to him.

I'm a fairly decent guitarist. I play the acoustic and the electric, fingerstyle and flatpicking. I'd like to think that if I were well, I wouldn't have turned down invites for bands or band-related stuff. I'd probably be a lead guitarist in a local and relatively successful band, but I said no. ¬_¬ To be fair, it's not overly my thing... I'd probably be in a blues band, though, ... love a bit o' blues.

I'd generally just be a happier person, and probably a better person. I'd have had a better childhood, a better education (I screwed up school and college because of health, bullying, and home life) and overall just be someone whom I can be proud to be.

I've always wanted to take up martial arts, ... for years... many years... I think I'd do that, too.

Oh well. As I said, .. depressing.

There is a flip-side, ... because of being so messed up, I've been forced to stay home more, which has given more the time needed to get much better at the guitar, at computers, at German, and English, and just, ... at life... at understanding people. I'm open-minded, ... more so, I believe, than if I were well. Being messed up can give us insight; would I trade that for health? Unfortunately, I may well do.

Too long, didn't read?

I'd be a better person, for myself, for my family, for my friends, ... I'd be happier; simple as.